Legolas

By Dr. Mary Crowell © 2002
Pegasus Award Nominee!

I like to watch him on the silver screen.
‘Built like I like ‘em, he is long and lean.
Yes, he is,
And I am his.
‘Gotta thing for an elf, can’t help myself,
O Legolas!

He’s not a talker, likes to use his bow
To good advantage on his orcish foe.
Yes he does,
And I’m in lust.
I just love pointy-ears, don’t care who hears me,
Legolas!

The Ring is s’posed to find ‘em
And in the darkness bind ‘em.
I don’t wanna lie to you.
There’s just one precious thing
that is needing a fling.
It’s Legolas!

I’m just a’ sittin’ here all by myself.
I’m thinking naughty thoughts about this elf.
Yes, I am.
‘Don’t give a damn!
Gotta thing for this shy, tall, elven guy, O Legolas!

There’s those who argue ‘bout the movie’s plot.
Because of time, the film left out a lot.
Bombadill
is not my thrill.
I’ll just sit here and stare at his long blond hair,
O Legolas!

This girl I know likes Strider,
And no. I won’t deride her.
But she can have her Aragorn.
The return of the king, won’t inspire me to sing
Like Legolas!